Foster family welcomes teen into their home during pandemic

When Oakland Family Services began looking for a foster parent who would be willing to take additional children during the COVID-19 pandemic, Olivia didn’t hesitate to open up her home.

Olivia was already taking care of her ex-fiancé’s daughter along with her two biological children, but agreed to change her license to accept non-relative children at a time when some foster parents feared the risk of coronavirus transmission. The 41-year-old woman said children need foster homes more now than ever.

“Imagine if your child had to go into foster care for some reason and how you would feel if someone refused your child because they are afraid your kid may be sick,” she said. “This pandemic isn’t going to go away soon. There are ways you can be safe and still take in kids.”

Oakland Family Services has implemented safety protocols to help ensure foster parents, foster children and families are safe during the pandemic.

In April, Nicole arrived at Olivia’s house during the stay-at-home order. The 15-year-old girl had been staying in a group home since her mother was admitted into a hospital for health issues unrelated to COVID-19 and later died.

Nicole came from a turbulent household where her severely autistic sister was violent and hit her frequently. Her sister would break things when she had tantrums and on one occasion chewed a hole in her grandfather’s oxygen cord when he didn’t give her what she wanted, Olivia said. Nicole, who identifies as transgender, also was bullied at school.

When Olivia’s 10-year-old and 16-year-old daughters, along with her 16-year-old foster child, learned Nicole needed a place to stay, they immediately agreed to share their home. Teenagers oftentimes are among the most difficult children to place in foster homes.

“There is a stigma about teenagers and placement,” Olivia said. “People think they must have done something bad and must be bad and hard to deal with. That’s not the case. They just need help, and someone to listen to them. It makes such a big difference when they go from what they call home to a structured home with a loving and caring foster family.”

While living with Olivia, Nicole learned different coping mechanisms to help with her post-traumatic stress disorder and anxiety. She also went from doing poorly in school to getting As and Bs in classes. The teen enjoys drawing and, during quarantine, developed a love for sewing, particularly making animal costumes. She recently moved to be reunited with her aunt.

“Nicole is more open now and not so shy and closed up,” Olivia said. “She’s getting more confidence in herself.”

Du Xiong, foster care case manager at Oakland Family Services, said Nicole bonded with Olivia during her stay.

“Olivia is a great foster mom,” she said. “She has helped Nicole in so many ways. Olivia is loving and has taught Nicole how to love herself. Olivia has also helped Nicole learn to communicate her feelings to others as well as creating boundaries in areas that are needed.”

Being a foster parent comes somewhat naturally to Olivia. After her mother became ill and passed away in 2011, she took custody of two cousins whom her mother had adopted. In 2018, she decided to become a foster parent through Oakland Family Services to care for her former fiancé’s 16-year-old daughter. The teen’s father was molesting her and is now in prison, Olivia said.

Helping children through perhaps the toughest times of their lives is a tough job for foster parents but very rewarding, Olivia said.

“It makes me feel good knowing kids have that sense of security,” she said. “Even after Nicole left recently to move in with her aunt, she stills contacts me and we still have that connection and always will.”

UPDATE: On Tuesday, Nov. 10, Olivia opened up her home again to three sisters who became homeless. With the siblings now being cared for in a safe home, their dad can work on getting stable housing for the family. Oakland Family Services is so grateful to Olivia and all foster parents who continue to step up at such a challenging time!

If you would like to learn more about foster care through Oakland Family Services, let us know!