Foster parenting: 'It's been worth every moment'

Two days after Charlotte and Jeff got their foster care license, the couple received a phone call for an urgent placement. A 13-year-old girl had run away from her aunt and uncle’s home and needed a place to stay.

Isabella arrived on their doorstep three days later — shy and frightened. It was the teenager’s first time living with non-relatives. About two years ago Isabella was placed in her aunt and uncle’s home after her father began struggling with substance use issues. She hadn’t lived with her mother since she was sent to prison when Isabella was 4 years old.

The new foster parents welcomed Isabella into their home about two months after the pandemic hit. The working parents said the timing was actually perfect for them.

“The good thing is, my husband and I have been able to be here with her a lot more because of the pandemic,” Charlotte said. “I’ve been working from home almost exclusively since she came to live with us. It gave us the opportunity to get to know each other quicker and become more comfortable with one another.”

Living with the couple was quite an adjustment for Isabella, who would stay up all night and sleep during the day. When she first arrived, it wouldn’t be uncommon for her to be going to bed at 4:30 a.m. as Jeff was getting up for work. The couple worked with her to put an end to that quickly.

Other adjustments, though, haven’t been as easy. Isabella started a new school in a virtual classroom with no friends or familiar faces.

“Considering everything she’s had to deal with and overcome, I think she’s been amazing,” Charlotte said. “She has opened up a lot. She’s not even the same child who came to us eight months ago. She’s a very loveable, very funny, very artistic and resilient child. She’s become, in a short amount of time, a very much integral part of our family.”

Charlotte and Jeff, who has three grown children from a previous marriage, decided to become foster parents after they found out they were unable to have children. Through her research, Charlotte said she learned that older kids have a greater need for a safe place to call home. She said it’s the best decision they have made.

“For my husband and I, bringing Isabella into our lives has completely changed our lives,” she explained. “It’s changed our outlook on the world, and the way we look at ourselves as a family. It really opened our eyes and broadened our horizons.”

Amy Strick, foster care case manager at Oakland Family Services, described Isabella as a very mature, smart, beautiful young woman who will continue to overcome and persevere. She said Charlotte and Jeff have done well with their first foster child.

“Charlotte and Jeff were extremely receptive to creative parenting and very understanding of what can sometimes be a slow and painful process for a child who has endured an interruption in their life. I was fortunate enough to work throughout the pandemic with the family through video, phone calls and eventually face to face.”

Charlotte hopes that more people will step up to become foster parents through Oakland Family Services.

“The staff that we have dealt with have been nothing short of amazing,” Charlotte said. “I think they have made this whole process just so much easier on us. They have helped us right from day one, every step of the way.

“I can’t imagine us not having Isabella in our lives and not having this experience. It’s been worth every moment.”

If you would like to learn more about foster care through Oakland Family Services, let us know!

Read more about how the need for foster homes has surged during the pandemic.